Wednesday, December 30, 2009
Sunday, December 27, 2009
As usual here I am playing catch up and wondering why it is so difficult for me to stay current in documenting the most amazing, life-changing phase of my life. True, I have been ridiculously tired. Who knew that a five and a half pound uterine squatter could make my daily life feel like I am carrying a load of bricks in a backpack? Or that twenty-five overall pounds would result in fluid-filled cankles, toes that Pierce lovingly describes as sausages and an overall inability to find comfort in anything but Uggs? But truthfully, these have been my only real issues. My normal response to all who have asked has been, "I feel really good. No complaints," and I sincerely mean it.
Friday, November 13, 2009
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Monday, October 5, 2009
No, I don't want him to be born any time soon, but it is nice to know that if he was he would have a fighting chance. 40% is not great odds, but it is a milestone, one that I often wondered if we would ever reach. Here is the promised 3D pic. So sweet!! However, I do think he's got the world's biggest lips. He also has some really big legs, so maybe he kicked himself in the face and gave himself a fat lip. Well, speaking of big, I am going to post my 24 week belly pic. I think I look pretty huge. It's hard to believe that I have only put on about 12 pounds, but I guess the extra 10 from thyroid problems and fertility treatments before hand didn't do me any favors either!
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Monday, September 7, 2009
Yes, it's true. I have a whole lotta catching up to do. A quick summary: Pierce and I are learning a great deal about DS and preparing for our big "test". I love this analogy Pierce came up with. We don't know how our baby will be affected much like as students we never knew what questions would be on the test, so we had to learn everything. We are in the process of learning and preparing as much as we can. More about that as our journey continues....
Friday, August 14, 2009
Welcome to Holland
I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
Monday, August 10, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Despite the fact that I am no longer feeling nasty and having strange food aversions, I am still so crazy tired! I fear my thyroid is still not quite on track, so we will be looking it to this again next appointment. Hmmm, where did I leave off??? Oh right. The NT scan. Well, it didn't really go how we had hoped. Little One's NT measured somewhere around a 3.5, and they like to see it below 2.5. In fact they didn't even take my blood because they said that the blood results would not be enough to lower our risk given the measurement. Ouch! Fortunately, we had quite possibly the cutest and kindest doctor possible giving us this information. Once I was in tears, he was quick to remind us that this is all about risks and does not mean that there is anything certain wrong with our baby. I have to remind myself that he said this because it is awful hard to remember anything else he said after the initial blow.
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Friday, June 19, 2009
October 28-November 5, 1978. She was my baby sister. She was born very premature and weighed 3 lbs. Her lungs were not mature, and after 8 days on machines my mom and stepmonster let her go. I know I didn't understand a lot of what happened since I was only 9 years old, but I really had a hard time forgiving them for that, sometimes wonder if I ever really have. She was my last chance to not be an only child, and there was nothing I wanted more.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
Monday, May 18, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
For anyone who isn't channeling their inner science geek or isn't a regular reader of Dr. Liccardi's blog or doesn't spend hours a week scanning pictures of embryos on countless IVF clinic websites, these are nearly perfect blastocysts, our nearly perfect blastocysts. They are 5 day-old babies-to-be that have been carefully cultivated and grown in a lab to 100 beautiful cells each. The embryologist graded the one on the lower left an "A" and quickly added that they almost never give out A's. She said the one on the right is almost as perfect, but they gave it a B+. Pierce thinks he sees a penis in the one on the right. I told him that he was probably right since that one wasn't as good as the other!