So incredibly difficult

It's over again just like last time.  All of the good karma like triggering on my dad's birthday proved to be nothing more than just another footnote in this soul-shattering journey.  I cried through the night, sucked it up and went to work, and called to schedule our IVF consult.  I even called my mom last night and confessed to doing IUI #2, something I had kept from her to protect her from the pain.  Oddly in her dementia-wrecked mind, she went on and on about Obama being on Leno and how smart she thought that was.  I lost count of how many times she asked if we had it on.  I patiently continued to say, "no" as I cried into the phone.

I feel bad for Pierce.  I know this is equally hard on him; however, I wonder if he has a chance to grieve when all of his energy is spent saving me from myself.  I often feel that our relationship is the only evidence that God hasn't given up on me.  I am so blessed to have met and married this extraordinary man.

I don't want to say much more about this cycle because it's over, it hurts, and now we move on. Our consult is scheduled for March 30.  I think that gives me just the right amount of time to pull myself back up without rushing into more emotional turmoil.  I'm more scared than I have ever been.  Thank you to everyone who has called, commented and given words of encouragement.  I can't imagine where I would be without the amazing circle of support we have around us.  Please keep us in your prayers.