Infertility Cure

Tonight as I was watching "The Bachelor", on a commercial it was suggested that I tune in at 10 to find out what might cure my infertility.  I'm in...I know they are talking to me personally, after all, who else needs this information?  I waited the extra hour for my miracle cure, only to hear a news story about obese women having weight reduction surgery and getting knocked up almost immediately.  Their miracle, not mine.  I am a bit chubby, would be much happier 10-15 pounds lighter (thank you, Mrs. Thyroid), but I am not obese.  Not even in the danger zone on the BMI chart.  Teased again.....

Then I began to think about all of the things we have done/changed in the last year in the name of baby.  The number of supplements I ingest daily is enough to make the GNC guy's head spin. Even worse is the way I have to plan to take them to maximize their potential.  Here's a typical day in my tummy:

6:00 am - Synthroid .125 - must wait an hour after taking before eating anything

7:00  Green tea for breakfast- less caffeine than coffee and proven to help produce fertile cervical fluid

8:00 5 Wheat Grass pills to increase energy and improve egg quality, known to decrease FSH even though mine is already very good

Nothing crazy during the work day.  Healthy lunch with lots of fruit, veggies and yogurt.  Drink 3 liters of water, which leads to lots of peeing and usually green from all of the wheat grass.

7:00 pm - Home again.  Make herbal tea.  No green tea at night as it prevents the absorption of folic acid.  It is now time for Vitamin D3, spirulina, kelp, fish oil, evening primrose oil, and prenatal vitamins.  Down all this with another light and healthy meal.  Take blood pressure meds before turning in, and we are done for the day.

Lather, rinse, repeat....

After our RE appointment tomorrow, I assume we will add the injections to the nightly routine. I am thinking somewhere between prenatals and blood pressure but definitely close to the passing out point.  Pierce doesn't want to be awake when my head starts spinning around and the pea soup starts flying.  I am so looking forward to it.

The theme of this rambling is, "We Have Tried Anything and Everything" that been suggested. I resent when morons imply that we are doing something wrong.  Yes, we know how to have sex. In fact, we are pretty damn good at it.  It's just the babymaking that needs some help.  But it is not for a lack of trying.

I have:

*taken my basal body temperature for 15 cycles, charted my cervical fluid, and cervix position (don't ask!) for the same amount of time

*used uber-expensive lube that is supposedly "sperm friendly" to try to facilitate the swimmers' journey

*laid in bed with my legs in the air for 15-20 minutes or until all of the blood rushed to my head

*peed on hundreds of sticks to pinpoint my exact ovulation date and time the act more accurately

*peed on at least 10 sticks in hopes that "This was our lucky month!"

*had a painful HSG to check that my tubes were clear

*had my first date with the dildo-cam to check out the follicles on my ovaries

*had more vials of blood drawn than I could ever count

*had outpatient surgery to remove polyps

*eaten pineapple and drank pomegranate juice after ovulation to help with implantation

I know I am forgetting numerous other unusual behaviors we have exhibited in the pursuit of baby, but I think you get the idea.  We are willing to do just about anything to get this cat a playmate.  One year plus of trying does not mean we are clueless.  It simply means that we are struggling and holding on to any shred of hope we can find.  That's why I jump when the news is reporting the infertility cure.  Too good to be true, of course.  So now it's bed time: TV off, bp meds down, feet in air.