Hurry up and WAIT

My nerves are getting the best of me, or maybe it's just nasty PMS.  Dr. B has had our donor profiles for a week now, and we still don't know anything.  You may already know this about me, but I am really into signs, what stuff means, numbers, etc., and this delay is really sending me to Did We Make the Wrong Decision Land.  I hate doubting.  I want to be so confident about this, and I am sure we will laugh about this time in Dr. B's office, as he explains why he put us off for so long.  I feel certain that that will be the outcome, but for now I'm pissed.  And about to start.  Not a good combo.

And then there were two...

I thought I was going to have a reprieve from tonight's elimination.  I did think the pretty, young girl had gone on vacation or lost her phone in South Padre.  An hour ago I checked my email one last time, and there it was.  She is available.  All three available and waiting to be my donor.  This morning I told Pierce before I left for work that if we found ourselves in this situation, then I was less in love with the proven donor.  I must be insane.  Proven seems like a golden ticket.  Proven is like knowing which one of the kids in class is the smartest and copying their work instead of possibly picking the kid who studied less than you.  I just know in my heart that one of the others will rise to the challenge.  I am trusting my gut....and Miller.  In five rounds of "Pick a Girl" not once did my son point to the proven donor.  He is fearless, and his mommy is following his lead.

Pick a Girl

This is what we chanted as we held Miller up to the computer screen, displaying the images of our Top 3.  Unlike American Idol, I can't hear them sing.  I can't watch them try to win my vote.  All I can do is look at things like education, family health history, looks, hobbies, whether or not a tattoo (or five) seemed like a good idea (and they usually did), and contrived answers to questions like, "Why do you want to be a donor?"  "Would you prefer the process be open or closed?" and on, and on.  In all fairness, the website of the agency I have been using has been well-organized and very easy to use.  So why is this so stinkin' hard?  Why am I more concerned that the girl look like me than if she's had a baby before?  Why does it feel like this whole process is happening to someone else, and I am just watching, observing, and learning vicariously?

Tomorrow we will narrow our 3 to 2.  Someone will be kicked off.  Who will it be?

In the running we have

Donor A - 28 year old mom of 4 boys
Donor B - 23 year old college student (no kids)
Donor C - 27 year old proven donor


I love pieces of all of them.
This is not for the faint of heart.
Just sayin'